Bad Mormon

As an ex-Mormon, memoirist Gay is explicit in her criticisms of the restrictions placed on women in the Mormon Church. Gay argues that Mormon girls are raised to be quiet and demure, and that Mormon women are expected to have no aspirations beyond marriage and motherhood. From her early childhood, Gay recognized that her parents “didn’t want a steely-eyed warrior for a daughter, they wanted someone obedient and kind” (18). This message was reinforced in the church’s Young Women Organization, as Gay’s ward leaders and peers taught her that being “big and brazen was fine until it came time to finding a man, a task that required a strict dedication to being small, quiet, and dutiful” (36). These passages suggest that resilience, bravery, and a willingness to take up space were restricted traits for Mormon girls, who were instead encouraged to be submissive, silent, and small, highlighting the accepted gender dynamics that defined her family culture and faith community. Gay expresses some empathy for her parents and teachers for enforcing this message, acknowledging that “they wanted me to keep sweet, pray, and obey, because it would make my life easier” as an adult member of the Mormon church (41). This empathy remains consistent throughout the