Percy Jackson's Greek Gods

When Apollo’s Titan mother is carrying him and his twin sister (Artemis), Hera curses her so that she can’t bear her children on any land connected to Earth, since Zeus is the father. The Titan flees to the floating island of Delos, where she can finally give birth. When Apollo is born, he asks for a bow and an instrument. The gods retrieve these things, and Apollo plays a tune, announcing “he [will] be the god of archery and song and poetry” (320) as well as the translator of prophesy. He takes over the oracle at Delphi and whispers all its prophesies in the form of bad poetry. In addition, Apollo becomes the god of healing, and he’s so golden and handsome that the gods give him the sun chariot and make him the sun god too.

Though Apollo is suave and handsome, he has a mean streak, and he’s known for doling out terrible punishments for minor infractions, such as committing mass murder in response to an insult. When the queen of Thebes says she’s better than Apollo’s mom, Apollo and Artemis fly to the city, kill all her children, and turn everyone to stone. When a satyr becomes famous for his flute playing and his followers say he’s as good as Apollo, Apollo challenges the satyr to a music contest. The contest is a tie, and the tiebreaker round pits the musicians against each other for showmanship. After Apollo plays his lyre behind his head and does all sorts of tricks, the satyr concedes, and to mark his victory, Apollo flays him alive.

One day, Apollo insults Eros (Aphrodite’s son), and Eros shoots Apollo with his bow, making the god fall in love with a water nymph. The nymph wants nothing to do with Apollo and runs, getting cornered on a cliff. At the last moment, Gaia turns the nymph into a laurel tree to save her. Heartbroken, Apollo vows to wear laurel leaves in her honor, and this is how loral leaves become a symbol of honor in ancient Greece.

From the moment she’s born, Artemis dislikes men, but Percy can’t blame Artemis because she spent seven months in the womb with Apollo: “That much time alone with Apollo would give anyone a bad impression of the male gender” (334). After the trouble Hera gave her mom, Artemis goes straight to Zeus and asks him to let her be a maiden forever so that she never has to get married or have children. In addition, she asks for free range to hunt, followers, and a city where people can ask for protection from her. Zeus grants all her requests, including several cities, and Artemis becomes one of the most popular goddesses.

Though she’s more of a hunter, Artemis is also known for her combat skills. When the giants who kidnapped Ares returned to destroy the gods, Artemis destroys them by besting them in battle and tricking them into stabbing each other. Often, Artemis sends animals to kill for her, such as when a city forgets to burn her offerings. In her displeasure, she sends a giant pig to level the kingdom. The humans finally destroy the pig, but they argue over who truly got the kill, starting a civil war. Most of all, Artemis hates it when men try to get close to her. A hunter named Actaeon sees Artemis bathing and falls in love with her. When he professes his love, Artemis turns him into a deer and sends his own hunting dogs after him.

When Zeus seduces and impregnates Kallisto, one of Artemis’s hunters, Kallisto tries to keep the secret, but eventually her growing belly gives her away. Though Artemis is angry at Zeus, she can’t compromise the rules of her group. She turns Kallisto into a bear and tells her to run so that Artemis never has to hunt her. Feeling guilty, Zeus turns Kallisto into the Ursa Major constellation. After Kallisto, Artemis’s next two friends are men. One is Orion, who becomes the constellation of the same name after Gaia sends a scorpion to kill him for butchering innocent animals. The second is Hippolytos, an attractive prince, and Aphrodite takes offense to such a man being surrounded by women but not wanting them. When Hippolytos argues with his father, Aphrodite inflames both men’s passions until Hippolytos’s father runs his son through with a sword. Artemis has Hippolytos resurrected, but Aphrodite and Hades complain that it isn’t fair. Zeus kills the man who resurrected Hippolytos, officially proclaiming resurrections off-limits.

Hermes is the god of travel and everything to do with it: “[I]f you take a trip, you’d better hope that Hermes is in a good mood” (358). Within minutes of being born, Hermes kills a turtle, scoops the body out of the shell, strings sheep guts across it, and creates the lyre. Next, he steals 50 of Apollo’s sacred cattle and hides them in a cave, except for two that he eats. When Apollo realizes that his cows are missing, he tracks the theft to Hermes and drags the newborn god up to Mount Olympus for judgment. Zeus is impressed but orders Hermes to return the cows and pay Apollo whatever price he wants for the two he ate. Hermes tricks Apollo into taking the lyre and letting him keep the cows. Then, Hermes offers Apollo a flute he made, and Apollo parts with a magic staff, winged sandals, a sword, and the ability to tell fortunes with dice.

In addition, Hermes does dirty work for Zeus. When Zeus tries to seduce a water nymph, Hera finds out, and to hide the nymph, Zeus transforms her into a cow and presents her as a gift to Hera. Since Hermes has a history of stealing cows, Zeus orders Hermes to get the nymph back, which Hermes does by putting the guard to sleep and beheading him. Hera is angry but can’t prove what happened, and Zeus enjoys his lover until he gets annoyed and turns her into a cow.

When Dionysus is born from Zeus’s thigh, Zeus sends the baby to Earth until he’s older and orders that Dionysus be raised as a girl so that Hera won’t find him. Hera finds him anyway and curses his mortal caretakers to kill their own children before jumping off a cliff. After that, Dionysus goes to live with nymphs and satyrs, where he discovers that he has a knack for making drinks out of crushed plants. Exploring the woods one day with a satyr friend, Dionysus sees an interesting vine high in a tree. The satyr climbs the tree to fetch it but falls and dies. In honor of his friend, Dionysus orders the vine to “bear the sweetest fruit to make up for this bitter loss” (381). The vine sprouts juicy red berries called grapes. Dionysus crushes them, creating wine.

Everyone who tries wine loves it, and Dionysus becomes famous across the land. His followers insist that he find a city to patronize him. They trek to the nearest city, which is ruled by an evil king who whips people for fun. Dionysus presents wine to the king, who whips him and his followers. After Dionysus heals, he storms back to the city, demanding that the king release his captured followers or his lands will go barren and he will be afflicted with madness. When the king refuses, madness sets in, and he chops his son to pieces while his land shrivels and dies. Two weeks later, the people overthrow the king and release Dionysus’s followers, which immediately revitalizes the land.

Dionysus and his followers go from city to city, telling all about the greatness of wine and holding parties in the woods that are open only to believers. Many people accept Dionysus, but others are skeptical, including the king of Thebes. He spies on a party but is discovered, and Dionysus’s followers tear him apart. While Dionysus is traveling and partying, pirates kidnap him. At first, he’s hungover and thinks it’s a grand adventure. Once he sobers up, however, he gets annoyed and kills the pirates, except for the navigator, who drops Dionysus off on an island. There, Dionysus meets Princess Ariadne, whom Theseus dumped there even though she helped him escape the Labyrinth after he killed the Minotaur. Dionysus and Ariadne fall in love, and when Dionysus ascends to Olympus, he makes her his immortal wife.